Book 51: Ryan’s Bed

By: Tijan


Plot (Goodreads Summary):

I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident.I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed—her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should’ve left… I didn’t. I didn’t jump out. I didn’t get embarrassed. I relaxed. And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved.I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept. The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could’ve stayed forever, I would have. He became my sanctuary. Because—four hours earlier—my twin sister killed herself.


My only complaint for this entire book is that this isn’t a series and from what I know, there isn’t and won’t be a second book.

I felt myself connected to both of these sisters. This set of twins are people I can see being best friends with. I am more like Mackenzie than Willow. I just knew that there was no fucks left to give from her.

When it comes to writing, I believe that it should be opposite of a movie: tell don’t show. Except for when an author says a character does something and doesn’t go through with it. Tijan went through with it and her writing is some of the funniest things I have ever heard. I listened to it on Audible which had to be the best audiobook I have ever got my hands on. Therese Plummer (the person who read the book) did such a good job at being Mackenzie.

I should probably get back to the reason I was complaining. I hate and love the ending/epilogue to the book. It made me closer to Mackenzie but it also got me mad that there wasn’t a second book. Just as a refresher, I include spoilers. So if you want to read this book, leave now because this is the biggest spoiler you will ever read. Willow’s suicide letter, was Mackenzie. She said she never read Willow’s suicide letter, but then she stated the list of why Willow was suicidal. I thought that was why I connected with her, but then I found out it was Mackenzie’s and that’s when I realized we could be the same person.

So I don’t know if I am welcomed to say this, but I was suicidal for 54% of my life. That’s a small number to some people when you’re not young. I would say my age for this if I felt like I needed to say it. I don’t think I need to say it in this case. What I will say is that I first had bad thoughts starting in first grade. I had them for years and never told anyone. I almost killed myself so many times for the same reasons Mackenzie almost did. She felt like a burden. I did too. She felt a lot more things that I felt, that was the biggest one to me though.

Ryan is like every other book boyfriend I love but different. I love them all and he is another that I love. I don’t mean that they are all the same, but my love is.

The most gripping part of this book is the grief that Mackenzie felt. My little sister being born is what has kept me from pulling the trigger, and I never knew what it would be like for my siblings if I ever did. I know that grief is different for everyone so this gives me a pretty could handle on the family effects.

I think everyone should read this book because it has all of the serious topics that nobody really likes to address. This is one of the best books and I know this is a stretch, but don’t be surprised if this book makes it on my “favorite books of the year” list.

Blogger’s Note:

I hope you guys found this informative about suicide in some way, shape, or form.

Guess who had basketball and didn’t post again ’cause she had homework? ‘Cause it wasn’t me. I wouldn’t do that. Nope. Not at all…

See y’all on Sunday with some boy book best friends.

Love you all ♡

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